This is what keeps me going....

Sometimes just the thought of these two precious babies is what keeps me going day to day. I have little reminders of them all over the place. Right now on my scrap table are all the 1x1 yellow, green and orange post-it notes that Allyssa had to pull off one by one and count on Monday. Monday was her class' "one-hundredth" day of school. The had "100" of all kinds of things. Mema went to her class to help out some. Then Allyssa came home with her because she was not feeling very well. Vincent and I were suppose to pick her up, (I was off that day) and we met them at Carolina Fine Foods and Allyssa came with us. Then we went and picked up Dakota at day care. We are suppose to get some snow and ice tomorrow, don't really want the stuff because I have to go to work. Vincent will have to take the truck to work. I guess we really should get some snow. Allyssa was looking at the scrapbook I have started for her and some other scrapbooks on Monday and see a page with her mom and Uncle Nick playing in the snow, 5 years old and 2 years old. 1988 I think. She turned to me and asked, "Nana, have I ever seen snow?" To be honest, I don't really know if she has. I don't think it has really snowed in the last several years where she can remember it.

I am feeling better this week. My upper back still hurts especially when at work and my upper left arm feels like I have been working out and so sore that I cannot lift it above shoulder length. I have no idea why it is doing that. Sometimes it hurts just to lay it on my left side when I am laying down...gotta ask the doc about that....Vincent started working at Campbell, Inc. where my dad works yesterday. He is so excited, he has not stopped talking about it. He called me at work today, (not realizing I was not at lunch) to tell me about a crane he was looking at...I think he is going to like it...Dakota likes to read all the time now. I was at Mom's yesterday to take her blanket by there and she brought me 4 books within 5 minutes to "read". Of course, I cannot "read" like Mema can, she has a special way of reading them to her. But she is so sweet when she goes and gets a book and brings it to you and then holds up her hands or backs up to your legs so you can pick her up and put her on your lap. I love those girls so much!! Well, I gotta go dry my hair. Was afraid to wait til tomorrow to do it, we might loose power since we are suppose to have ice. And it would be my luck that I did not wash it tonight and then tomorrow I would not be able to! Until next time....

Happy Birthday Deb!

Yesterday was my sister's, Deborah, birthday. She turned 44 years old. We celebrated today. Me, Mom, Deborah, Asheton and Zach went to Texas Roadhouse for lunch. Enjoyed it although when Asheton and Zach are with us, there is not a whole lot of conversation on our part other than usually listening to Asheton and Zach. It has been a while since I have had teenagers. Sometimes I feel "out-of-the-loop" with all the different things going on in high school these days. Anyway, back to Deborah's birthday. Over the last couple of years she and I have become closer. In high school, we were anything but close. Almost like strangers. We were in high school together 1 year. I was the "band nerd" and she was the "popular cheerleader". Needless to say, we did not "hang" around together. It is kinda of sad in a way to know that we were together that one year and did not take advantage of being "in school" together. But anyway, we are closer now and that is all that matters! Love ya girl. Happy "many more" birthdays!!!!

Allyssa's dance pics...

Here are Allyssa's dance pictures. I had to ask Natasha about school pictures, which she said that she did not get this year, (I won't even tell you what I thought about that), when she told me she had these, which were in one of the kitchen cabinets...I don't know about that girl. Anyway, I thought you might like to see them. I only got the group picture to scan, then I got the 5x7 of her and 2 wallets. I will try to send them by regular e-mail so you they can be downloaded if you like. She is sooo cute in this outfit! I sure do miss her. Back to work tomorrow, boy does the weekend seem to fly by, even when you aren't having fun!!!! I just can't seem to get myself back on track with feeling good. It comes in spurts. Nauseation during the day, getting hot, I don't know....I sure be feeling better. I am back to taking both antibiotics, staggering all the medication during the day, I just don't know.

Freezing.....

This is probably the last picture that has been taken of all of the kids, spouses and mom and dad. It was taken at Papa's birthday in 2004. The other picture just like was a goof-off. Deborah was poking her chest out trying to make it look big-ger that it is! She is always joking around like that.

We took a motorcycle ride to Hendersonville, NC, today to eat at Cracker Barrel. Left around 4:30 got back around 6:15. It was soooo cold. I don't know why I do that. I know it is going to cold, but I go anyway and it was up to me whether we went or not. I really did not feel like going, but I went anyway. Bout froze my "ba-honkus" off too. And I even had thermal underwear on....what is the deal with that? Had Dakota today while Natasha worked....she is just such a precious baby. She was good all day. Took a nap before we left to meet Mom, Deborah and Asheton at the mall so Mom could buy Asheton's birthday present then went to Monterrey's by the Mall for lunch. Had a good time..then came home, Natasha picked up Dakota, I cleaned house, changed sheets on the bed, washed 2 loads of clothes, dusted, vacuumed and by the time I got done, I was complete worn out....Guess I will go and look at my new "Top Ten" magazine from Creating Keepsakes that I got in the mail yesterday...

Relapse?

Not feeling too well again today. Been nauseated this afternoon, throat feels a little scratchy, catchy cough started about 6:00. Just yucky. Back hasn't hurt quite as bad today as the rest of the week has. Picked up Dakota at daycare, she is such a sweetie. We laid down and took a nap, mine was about 30 minutes; hers was 1 1/2 hours. I finally woke her up at 6:15 so she would sleep tonight. She is pointing to her nose now, looking out the truck window at the cars and trucks and trying to talk about them. Allyssa went to her Dad's this weekend. I miss her so much when I don't get her during the week as usual, but I have felt so bad since last week. I hope I feel better tomorrow. I think I will go and head on to bed.

We aren't going anywhere!

This was Allyssa's little friend (yes he was a boy) for a while there we did not know it was a boy, until of course, you could see his little "maleness" protruding through his bathsuit...LOL. We thought it was a girl with no top on. That is Natasha, pregnant as can be and Vincent in the background on the left. Oh for the carefree days of being a the beach on vacation...watching the people walk, run, stroll by, soaking up the sun, of course, I have to be careful, always, always, get sun poisoning if I don't load my chest, and top of my ears down with sunscreen. I don't keep my head in the sun too long anymore either unless of course,I am at the waterpark. That don't seem to bother me, could be the sun, sand and wind combination, never thought of that...ding, ding! Being lazy and not having a schedule to adhere to. Nice..... Suppose to get freezing rain, sleet, snow tonight after midnight and tomorrow. Not sure if we are going to get it. I don't like it when there is a "chance". I don't like "chances". Either we are or we are not getting something. Don't like the unexpected, makes me uneasy...don't like "out-of-the-ordinary" either. I need to know what is going on when, how, why, etc. I am a big procrasinator, not like that either. I try not to be and I do good sometimes, but other times I don't. Natasha has inherited that trait from me, unfortunately. Well, it is 9:35 pm time for me to get to bed.

Feeling better....

I am soooo waiting on spring. This was the birdfeeder in our backyard with a gold finch perched on it. My favorite seasons are spring and fall. I am feeling better today. Gradually today I started feeling better. I am staggering my medication during the day, so maybe that is helping. Benicar HCT when I get up, Cymbalta around lunch time, and one of my antibiotics around 4-6. I am not even going to try the other anitbiotic...surely don't want to feel anything like I did last week and yesterday. Thanks Mom for the sandwich and soup! Love ya. I had the same thing today, except it was a turkey sandwich out of the vending machine and Campbells chicken noodle soup, 1 banana at first break and 1 apple at second break. Actually felt like eating today, had cubed steak, mashed potatoes and gravy. I am tired right now though. I am going to try to get to church tomorrow night if I continue to feel better. Right now, I have been getting worn out just running around picking them up...we will see, plus I am back working from 6:00 am til 3:30pm. That means I am up at 4:45. Maybe that is why I am tired right now...I haven't seen Allyssa since Friday night and Dakota yesterday. I miss them both, even though it is hectic...Talked to Nick on Friday, said he was going to come by and see me over the weekend since I was not feeling good, haven't seen him yet...! Glad I was not holding my breathe! LOL He called also to tell me that Matt finally called him back about Paul (started out as Nick's dog, I inherited him). One of the guys Matt was sharing rent with decided to get married so the other guys let the lease expire. Matt I guess moved back home. He said that he did not have anywhere to take Paul so he took him to the humane society. I would have taken him back, I am really sad about it, because Paul did not deserve to be taken there. I tried to find out what they did to him, if he was adopted (which I doubt because he was old and overweight) or if they put him to sleep. I just needed some closure, but they said since he was not my dog that they could not tell me anything. I would love to know he was adopted by a loving family, but I am not quite sure that happen, almost 100% sure. I think I will go read a little bit, since House is not coming on tonight...

Back on Overtime...

This was Allyssa's end of the year zoo trip for K-4. She is in the pink squatting down to the right of the picture. She had more fun playing on the playground equipment that she did looking at the animals, which was probably the 5-6 time she has been to the Greenville Zoo. Didn't get to pick her up at daycare today, only Dakota. Allyssa was at Vickie's house. But when I went to go into Dakota's room, she was walking to the diaper changing area and caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of her eye and turned to me. When she seen that it was me, she come running and laughing right into my arms. That right there made my not-feeling-so-good day vanish for a little while. As well as when I am with Allyssa. They both tend to make me forget for the moment how bad I feel when they smile at me!

I am back on overtime, starting tomorrow. 6:00 a.m. until 3:30 p.m. Although I like and need th extra money right now and I get out of the early morning slow traffic, I had getting up at 4:45 every morning. By the time 3:30 get here I am worn out and if tomorrow is anything like today, I really will be worn out. My upper back hurt really bad today for some reason, and it has now started hurting again. I took 2 Advil at 11:30 and the pain did not ease off until 2:30. I think I will take Aleve now and see if that will get rid of the pain for a while. I was really tired today too. I am not sure why, I am sleeping some at night, but during the night I toss and turn, go to the couch, go back to bed...Maybe tonight I will sleep better, hope so!

Not afraid...

The last chair on the right going toward the mountain is Chelsea, Allyssa and Asheton. Yes Allyssa is with them...she wanted to ride this chairlift with Asheton and Chelsea. She is not afraid of much of anything. When she came back down and got off, she was excited beyond belief. Yes, she went all the way to the top of this mountain. I could not believe that she wanted to go on it...it should not have surprised me though. She wanted to get on all the rides at Dollywood that went high up...even the ones that she was not allowed to get on because she was not tall enough. She had a blast though. Back to work tomorrow...not looking forward to it though. Everybody coming up and asking me if I am alright, how am I doing...I know they mean well..but I don't like all the attention....

Papa and Dakota

I think this is the only picture I have of Dakota and Papa Bob. I actually was playing with my camera when this picture was taken. I thought something was wrong with my camera because I could not see the image I was taking a picture of and I was just shooting pictures to find out what was wrong. It turned out to be the backlight that I had accidentally switched off, but the 4 pictures I took that day came out great. This is one of them.

Right now I am feeling a little tired and nauseated. I took my blood pressure pill this morning, then at 1:00 I took my depression pill. At 4:00 I took my antibiotic (GFN1000). Ate something about 30-45 minutes ago. So I am not sure what it is. Get tired sometimes just walking from the truck into the house. A lot of emotions running through me. Why am I tired..is my imagination that something is terribly wrong...why does my heart feel like it is beating out of my chest when I get tired walking from the truck to the house...I don't know...All I know right now is I want to feel better...hopefully it will come very soon. Still don't have the excitement to scrapbook, I want to but cannot get started...look at magazines and see ideas, but no desire...going for a bike ride tomorrow. Maybe I will feel better...we will see....

To be there now....

This chair needs me.....oh to be able to be sitting in it right now....just chilling, not doing anything, not going anyway, just sitting there pondering...not really thinking about anything, just a void...this chair was actually sitting in the sand on the beachy area across from the Coleman's beach house. It was taken in February, 2005, when Mom and Dad were down there for vacation and invited (boy did they have alot of guts) all of us to go down for the weekend. Me, Allyssa, Natasha, Brittni, Chandler, Wayne, Tina, Courtney and Lauren, (I think that is all). Vincent could not go because of work. I picked up Chandler after I got off of work and we headed down on Friday evening. Natasha, Allyssa and Brittni went down Thursday along with Wayne and his family. I need this chair right now. Went to the doctor today after I had lunch with Mom, (I love having lunch with her and hung out at the mall for a little bit before my appointment!) because for nearly the past year at different times I have had my blood pressure checked for one thing or another (giving blood, eye surgery) and it has been higher than normal. After my eye surgery in April, 2006, Dr. Hammond told me to come back after I had healed a bit, because the pain and stress of the weed-eating accident that lead to my eye surgery was probably contributing to the high BP. So I finally made it back today nine months later. BP 180/108 not good. So during the visit I had several things I needed to ask about, not sleeping at night, depressed most of the time, heel spur on my right heel, and possibly sinus infection. Medication given for everything but the heel spur. I don't like the idea of having to take pills everyday, but as Mom pointed out, be thankful that my problems can be controlled with medication and not the other way around. I am thankful, very thankful. That means my everyday non-taking-pill days are over, switching to everyday, pill-taking days. Of course, the sinus infection and stupid little cough can be cleared up fairly quickly with 2 antibiotics. I go back in 4 weeks to see how I am doing, but Dr. Hammond assures me that I will be feeling better. I sure do hope so. I got Allyssa out of school early today and Vincent watched her while I went to the doctor. That kept me from going back to TR. I picked up Dakota at daycare after I got finished with the doctor. Stopped by and got McDonald's 6 piece chicken mcnugget happy meal (as requested by Allyssa) and Sonic sausage, egg and cheese breakfast burrito with a large orange juice (no ice) as requested by Vincent. Dakota ate a couple of fries, believe me she knows what is going on when you are sitting at the drive-thru window, but don't understand why when you pay at the first window the guy don't give you the food.....she was not happy with him. Came home, made sure Allyssa had her "environmental print" for the letter F. She took pictures of our visit to the Fire Station that Wayne works at, Dakota played around for a little bit and then was ready for a nap at 5:00, slept until 6:05. I boxed up my Kodak camera and printer dock which I was still having problems with so I could take it back when Natasha came after the kids. Took it back, got me the Kodak C875 camera only, purchased the docking station and I am going to try to get my Epson printer working again when I get a new ink cartridge. Got my antibiotic prescriptions filled, we got a few groceries and came home. Set up my camera and the epson printer again and now I am ready to settle down, get ready for bed and head there in a little bit. Was not hungry, felt nauseated, so I did not eat dinner. Can't wait to feel better. Later......

First pictures

These are the very first pictures of Dakota Kayl, taken on March 10, 2005....before we knew she was a girl, before we knew her due date, when total chaos was going on because Natasha and Brad were separated and she was seeing someone else, (who according to Natasha started AFTER she and Brad were separated)...of course only Natasha and Randy (who is Dakota's father and Natasha's significant other and "roommate") will ever know for sure. I guess is adds up though, they separated in December, and Dakota was conceived in January...pretty close though, but I am rambling on. Anyway, Dakota and Allyssa are sisters and nothing is ever going to change that even if they do have different last names. You can raise you children the best way you know how and when they get older some of them are going to depart from their upbringing. I have 2 children that are doing just that. But I am sure that it will all work out in the end and there is no need for me to worry about it, they are adults and it just makes my life miserable trying to make it right....I love them just the same...OK enough of the sappy stuff.....

Here's looking at ya, kid.....

This picture was taken July, 2004, when Allyssa was 3 years old. She is such a funny girl. She loves the water. The other pictures taken with this one will show that fact. Today I went by Mom's house, (she keeps Dakota on Tuesdays and Thursdays all day and gets Allyssa at 2:30 when she gets out of school). I had to take Mom's sewing machine back to her. Yesterday I had told Allyssa when we were on our way home that I had something to show her when we got home, but instead I ended up having to drop them off by Natasha's work earlier than usual. We did not make it to our house. Today I asked her if she remembered that I had something I was going to show her yesterday and she said yes. I had a pair of jeans on that is one of my favorite pair. Right where the top of the pocket is sewn to the pants itself it has started a small hole and my lavender underwear was showing. I had to keep making sure that my shirt was down over it the whole day at work. I knew that Allyssa would get a kick out of "my underwear" showing so I was going to show her. So today I told her about it and she started laughing, saying "Nana, you are silly". Then when Natasha was leaving Mom's house with her and Dakota I had to go get an empty box out of my truck to put some glasses in that Mom had given me. I walked back up to the car with the box on my head and Dakota and Allyssa started laughing. Allyssa told me I was "crazy"!!!!!! She is such a silly girl, but at least I can make them laugh even on the "roughest" of my days!!!!! Love those two little girls..... I know it is hard on my Mom to watch the girls like she does. But I also know that she loves it and although it wears her out, she would not change it (maybe think about every now and then!!!!)

Watched House tonight. Right now it is all about House. I get a kick out of House's (Dr.) egotistically, arrogant, smart-tail comments that he makes. Not that I would want him for a doctor you would have to talk to, but for a doctor who can find out what is wrong with you, then I would want him for mine!!!!! Well, am kinda tired now, guess I will get ready to go to bed.

Problems....

I have had nothing but problems tonight. I had a problem trying to print the Santa pictures from Hendersonville. My camera keeps telling me that the memory card is unfamiliar...What?????....then I format it, take those pictures off, put a couple of other pictures on it to print out (pictures of Vincent and me at Mom and Dad's house Christmas) and they print out. Then my "rechargeable" batteries don't want to "charge". What's up with that? Did I have them in the camera wrong...no....checked it....so I put the regular Kodak batteries in it for now until tomorrow when I can see what the heck I am doing wrong. :-( Sometimes I feel so stupid, like I cannot grasp what the heck I am doing and I am doing the same stuff I do all the time. Does that make any sense? Then I try to copy the Christmas pics from Mom and Dad's to CD to give to Mom and I cannot get them to copy. The computer keeps telling me I don't have a disc in the "f" drive, which I do.....Vincent said maybe the computer is tired...I say maybe I am tired.....I think I will call it quits for all of it and go to bed!

Cute Pic

Looking through old pictures today trying to get inspired to do a layout and ran across this picture. I think it is so cool. Larry and Richard there with their cowboy hats on and Mom with her cute little baby doll. Grandma and Grandpa holding a picture of I am thinking Lucky and Joyce. Why were they hold their picture? Where was Pat, Cornelia and the rest of the kids? Was Joyce and Lucky stationed somewhere else and all the other kids were local? Who was taking the picture? Look at the "icicles" on the tree and the christmas cards hanging on the wall. I wonder who they were from? That cute little reindeer (I guess it is a card on the wall) at Grandpa's right elbow. I wish I had the answers to these questions.

Haven't felt very good today. Throat is sore. Took my camera and printer dock back and got a new one. Hope it works and gives me no problems. Getting ready to go eat a little soup so I can get ready to go to work tomorrow. Not looking forward to it especially if I am not feeling any better. Talked to Nick today. Vincent had gotten a text message from Ashley which said to bring some toilet paper home!!!LOL, I am still laughing about that. I texted Nick and asked him why Ashley needed toilet paper! He called me back and said that she had been having problems with her text messages, her brother had gotten some, but he said she probably don't know how to use it....he was laughing as much as I was. Never know who sees your text messages!!! Said he was going to be working in Chapel Hill all week. Natasha called me this morning and asked me if I had called her. She had a missed call from me. I told her no that I had called her last night when she was trying to get in touch with me, but not today. Technology!!! Guess I will go for now....

Play...

Seems like Allyssa has Santa all to herself....this was one of the pics that Deborah took while we were visiting Santa in Hendersonville, NC, December 16, 2006. On Ali Edwards blog which I read every day, she has challenged everyone to come up with a word that would describe how you want to incorporate in our layouts during the year, a word that we could use in our every day lives...I have come up with "play". I am going to try to "play" more that I have in the last year. There is so much that pre-occupies my mind, bills, work, making sure the granddaughters are taken care of, you know, that everyday junk that keeps us from enjoying life. So I am going to see how it goes. Had lunch with Mom, Deborah and Asheton at Zaxby's today, then Mom and I headed to do our normal Saturday "thing", going to scrapbook stores. We went to the Scrapbook Company today, soo much pretty paper and things for our layouts....wish I could have at least 1 of everything!!!!! My Kodak printer dock is going to have to be returned tomorrow, it just is not working right. Have tried 2 new cartridges in it and it still is not wanting to cooperate with me, so I have to take it back and get another one. So I will have to concentrate on pictures that I have already printed out for now....that should not be a problem. Vincent and I went to Cracker Barrel in Hendersonville, NC, to eat dinner. We rode the bike, kinda of chilly when we left, but the ride was really good, refreshing.....I enjoyed getting away for a brief spell...

Changing style

This picture is from the Easter Egg Hunt at church March 3, 2005. I am thinking of a change of scenery, maybe upside down also. Ever since I have been scrapbooking, several years now, I have always done 12x12 layouts. I am thinking of starting an 8.5x11 album. I am going to try it anyway just to see how it is. I have several mini-albums right now just waiting to be put to use, but I cannot decide what to do with them. Is that not odd? I have so many ideas, things-to-do lists, etc. running through my mind most of the time, I don't even know where to start. That is, in-between trying to clean house, watching Allyssa and Dakota 3 or more days a week, church, making sure I am spending enough time with hubby, working, and all that "other" stuff, like paying bills, (and trying not to forget to pay the telephone bill like I did this month)....I was going to enter the creating keepsakes hall of fame contest, but I have to have 10 layouts completed and sent in by February 10 and some of the things that I have to do, I don't think I will be able to get them done. I seem to run out of ink in both my Epson picturemate printer and used all the starter ink in my Kodak printer...so I cannot print any pictures right now. Why is that it all seems to run out at the same time. Just replaced the color ink in my lexmark printer. I think I need to go now and try to get some of the things on my to-do list completed, since I like to "check" things off, so the more I complete the more checks I can put on it! I know I am weird!!!!!!!

Silly Dakota!

This is now another one of my favorite photos. It was taken at the mall in Hendersonville, NC, when we were up there before Christmas. Dakota is being her silly self with her tongue out! Asheton is always such a great big help when we have both the girls. Allyssa and I met up with Mom at church tonight. Natasha got off work early and went to pick up Dakota herself since she don't usually get to do that. Sonya, Lynn and I ran to Leopard Forest Coffee Shop for our usual coffee run before Scott (our pastor and Sonya's husband) gets started. He told us we only had 5 minutes to get there and back! Of course, we did not make it in 5 minutes. We had Gracie, one of their daughters' with us, who was not feeling the best in the world, so while we were waiting on our coffees, Sonya was hustling back and forth to the bathroom with Gracie who would not go in the bathroom because she is afraid of the closed doors. So we grabbed a cup for the road (empty just in case Gracie got sick before we got back) and headed back to church as fast as we could get there within reason! Gotta go for now, it is 10:57 p.m. WAY, WAY past my bedtime.....:-(

Guess who this is!

Yep, this is Allyssa at her 1-year-old birthday party 5 years ago. Isn't she the cutiest thing? Look at the tossled hair! They all grow so fast...Natasha, 24, Nick 20, all my gosh, time is flying by. Nick will be 21 in April. 21 years old. I will be 47 in February. Not feeling well tonight so I am going to make this short. Gonna go and take a shower and get ready for bed. Don't feel like doing anything. Maybe I will feel better tomorrow....

Happy Birthday Allyssa

Today was Allyssa's 6th birthday. It has been 6 years since she was born? It don't seem possible sometimes. She received a Baby Alive baby doll from Mema and Papa Bob which she is opening in this picture. Dakota is looking on just waiting on her chance to get to the baby doll. Allyssa was happy with the baby doll, especially since it is suppose to wet her diaper among other things is it is suppose to do. This party was for the family. She is suppose to have a sleep over with a few of her friends in a couple of weeks. We ate dinner at Mom's house for New Year's Day. We had a good time and the food was delicious as always. Well, it is time to get back to the grindstone and a regular schedule now. Holidays are over for another year....2007 here we come!!!!!