We aren't going anywhere!

This was Allyssa's little friend (yes he was a boy) for a while there we did not know it was a boy, until of course, you could see his little "maleness" protruding through his bathsuit...LOL. We thought it was a girl with no top on. That is Natasha, pregnant as can be and Vincent in the background on the left. Oh for the carefree days of being a the beach on vacation...watching the people walk, run, stroll by, soaking up the sun, of course, I have to be careful, always, always, get sun poisoning if I don't load my chest, and top of my ears down with sunscreen. I don't keep my head in the sun too long anymore either unless of course,I am at the waterpark. That don't seem to bother me, could be the sun, sand and wind combination, never thought of that...ding, ding! Being lazy and not having a schedule to adhere to. Nice..... Suppose to get freezing rain, sleet, snow tonight after midnight and tomorrow. Not sure if we are going to get it. I don't like it when there is a "chance". I don't like "chances". Either we are or we are not getting something. Don't like the unexpected, makes me uneasy...don't like "out-of-the-ordinary" either. I need to know what is going on when, how, why, etc. I am a big procrasinator, not like that either. I try not to be and I do good sometimes, but other times I don't. Natasha has inherited that trait from me, unfortunately. Well, it is 9:35 pm time for me to get to bed.

Feeling better....

I am soooo waiting on spring. This was the birdfeeder in our backyard with a gold finch perched on it. My favorite seasons are spring and fall. I am feeling better today. Gradually today I started feeling better. I am staggering my medication during the day, so maybe that is helping. Benicar HCT when I get up, Cymbalta around lunch time, and one of my antibiotics around 4-6. I am not even going to try the other anitbiotic...surely don't want to feel anything like I did last week and yesterday. Thanks Mom for the sandwich and soup! Love ya. I had the same thing today, except it was a turkey sandwich out of the vending machine and Campbells chicken noodle soup, 1 banana at first break and 1 apple at second break. Actually felt like eating today, had cubed steak, mashed potatoes and gravy. I am tired right now though. I am going to try to get to church tomorrow night if I continue to feel better. Right now, I have been getting worn out just running around picking them up...we will see, plus I am back working from 6:00 am til 3:30pm. That means I am up at 4:45. Maybe that is why I am tired right now...I haven't seen Allyssa since Friday night and Dakota yesterday. I miss them both, even though it is hectic...Talked to Nick on Friday, said he was going to come by and see me over the weekend since I was not feeling good, haven't seen him yet...! Glad I was not holding my breathe! LOL He called also to tell me that Matt finally called him back about Paul (started out as Nick's dog, I inherited him). One of the guys Matt was sharing rent with decided to get married so the other guys let the lease expire. Matt I guess moved back home. He said that he did not have anywhere to take Paul so he took him to the humane society. I would have taken him back, I am really sad about it, because Paul did not deserve to be taken there. I tried to find out what they did to him, if he was adopted (which I doubt because he was old and overweight) or if they put him to sleep. I just needed some closure, but they said since he was not my dog that they could not tell me anything. I would love to know he was adopted by a loving family, but I am not quite sure that happen, almost 100% sure. I think I will go read a little bit, since House is not coming on tonight...

Back on Overtime...

This was Allyssa's end of the year zoo trip for K-4. She is in the pink squatting down to the right of the picture. She had more fun playing on the playground equipment that she did looking at the animals, which was probably the 5-6 time she has been to the Greenville Zoo. Didn't get to pick her up at daycare today, only Dakota. Allyssa was at Vickie's house. But when I went to go into Dakota's room, she was walking to the diaper changing area and caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of her eye and turned to me. When she seen that it was me, she come running and laughing right into my arms. That right there made my not-feeling-so-good day vanish for a little while. As well as when I am with Allyssa. They both tend to make me forget for the moment how bad I feel when they smile at me!

I am back on overtime, starting tomorrow. 6:00 a.m. until 3:30 p.m. Although I like and need th extra money right now and I get out of the early morning slow traffic, I had getting up at 4:45 every morning. By the time 3:30 get here I am worn out and if tomorrow is anything like today, I really will be worn out. My upper back hurt really bad today for some reason, and it has now started hurting again. I took 2 Advil at 11:30 and the pain did not ease off until 2:30. I think I will take Aleve now and see if that will get rid of the pain for a while. I was really tired today too. I am not sure why, I am sleeping some at night, but during the night I toss and turn, go to the couch, go back to bed...Maybe tonight I will sleep better, hope so!

Not afraid...

The last chair on the right going toward the mountain is Chelsea, Allyssa and Asheton. Yes Allyssa is with them...she wanted to ride this chairlift with Asheton and Chelsea. She is not afraid of much of anything. When she came back down and got off, she was excited beyond belief. Yes, she went all the way to the top of this mountain. I could not believe that she wanted to go on it...it should not have surprised me though. She wanted to get on all the rides at Dollywood that went high up...even the ones that she was not allowed to get on because she was not tall enough. She had a blast though. Back to work tomorrow...not looking forward to it though. Everybody coming up and asking me if I am alright, how am I doing...I know they mean well..but I don't like all the attention....

Papa and Dakota

I think this is the only picture I have of Dakota and Papa Bob. I actually was playing with my camera when this picture was taken. I thought something was wrong with my camera because I could not see the image I was taking a picture of and I was just shooting pictures to find out what was wrong. It turned out to be the backlight that I had accidentally switched off, but the 4 pictures I took that day came out great. This is one of them.

Right now I am feeling a little tired and nauseated. I took my blood pressure pill this morning, then at 1:00 I took my depression pill. At 4:00 I took my antibiotic (GFN1000). Ate something about 30-45 minutes ago. So I am not sure what it is. Get tired sometimes just walking from the truck into the house. A lot of emotions running through me. Why am I tired..is my imagination that something is terribly wrong...why does my heart feel like it is beating out of my chest when I get tired walking from the truck to the house...I don't know...All I know right now is I want to feel better...hopefully it will come very soon. Still don't have the excitement to scrapbook, I want to but cannot get started...look at magazines and see ideas, but no desire...going for a bike ride tomorrow. Maybe I will feel better...we will see....

To be there now....

This chair needs me.....oh to be able to be sitting in it right now....just chilling, not doing anything, not going anyway, just sitting there pondering...not really thinking about anything, just a void...this chair was actually sitting in the sand on the beachy area across from the Coleman's beach house. It was taken in February, 2005, when Mom and Dad were down there for vacation and invited (boy did they have alot of guts) all of us to go down for the weekend. Me, Allyssa, Natasha, Brittni, Chandler, Wayne, Tina, Courtney and Lauren, (I think that is all). Vincent could not go because of work. I picked up Chandler after I got off of work and we headed down on Friday evening. Natasha, Allyssa and Brittni went down Thursday along with Wayne and his family. I need this chair right now. Went to the doctor today after I had lunch with Mom, (I love having lunch with her and hung out at the mall for a little bit before my appointment!) because for nearly the past year at different times I have had my blood pressure checked for one thing or another (giving blood, eye surgery) and it has been higher than normal. After my eye surgery in April, 2006, Dr. Hammond told me to come back after I had healed a bit, because the pain and stress of the weed-eating accident that lead to my eye surgery was probably contributing to the high BP. So I finally made it back today nine months later. BP 180/108 not good. So during the visit I had several things I needed to ask about, not sleeping at night, depressed most of the time, heel spur on my right heel, and possibly sinus infection. Medication given for everything but the heel spur. I don't like the idea of having to take pills everyday, but as Mom pointed out, be thankful that my problems can be controlled with medication and not the other way around. I am thankful, very thankful. That means my everyday non-taking-pill days are over, switching to everyday, pill-taking days. Of course, the sinus infection and stupid little cough can be cleared up fairly quickly with 2 antibiotics. I go back in 4 weeks to see how I am doing, but Dr. Hammond assures me that I will be feeling better. I sure do hope so. I got Allyssa out of school early today and Vincent watched her while I went to the doctor. That kept me from going back to TR. I picked up Dakota at daycare after I got finished with the doctor. Stopped by and got McDonald's 6 piece chicken mcnugget happy meal (as requested by Allyssa) and Sonic sausage, egg and cheese breakfast burrito with a large orange juice (no ice) as requested by Vincent. Dakota ate a couple of fries, believe me she knows what is going on when you are sitting at the drive-thru window, but don't understand why when you pay at the first window the guy don't give you the food.....she was not happy with him. Came home, made sure Allyssa had her "environmental print" for the letter F. She took pictures of our visit to the Fire Station that Wayne works at, Dakota played around for a little bit and then was ready for a nap at 5:00, slept until 6:05. I boxed up my Kodak camera and printer dock which I was still having problems with so I could take it back when Natasha came after the kids. Took it back, got me the Kodak C875 camera only, purchased the docking station and I am going to try to get my Epson printer working again when I get a new ink cartridge. Got my antibiotic prescriptions filled, we got a few groceries and came home. Set up my camera and the epson printer again and now I am ready to settle down, get ready for bed and head there in a little bit. Was not hungry, felt nauseated, so I did not eat dinner. Can't wait to feel better. Later......

First pictures

These are the very first pictures of Dakota Kayl, taken on March 10, 2005....before we knew she was a girl, before we knew her due date, when total chaos was going on because Natasha and Brad were separated and she was seeing someone else, (who according to Natasha started AFTER she and Brad were separated)...of course only Natasha and Randy (who is Dakota's father and Natasha's significant other and "roommate") will ever know for sure. I guess is adds up though, they separated in December, and Dakota was conceived in January...pretty close though, but I am rambling on. Anyway, Dakota and Allyssa are sisters and nothing is ever going to change that even if they do have different last names. You can raise you children the best way you know how and when they get older some of them are going to depart from their upbringing. I have 2 children that are doing just that. But I am sure that it will all work out in the end and there is no need for me to worry about it, they are adults and it just makes my life miserable trying to make it right....I love them just the same...OK enough of the sappy stuff.....