Yuck, Yuck Monday.....

Why are Mondays so yucky? Today was not a good day at all. I was not feeling very good, nauseated, overall terrible, terrible. Had a small bag of pretzels and half a pepsi for first break, felt nauseated still, but hungry at lunch. Actually skipped lunch per se, but did eat another small bag of pretzels, drank the other half of the pepsi and sit there looking at a newspaper catalog of books for no more than $4.95. All kinds of books and some DVDs, CDs, James Patterson was one of the authors I seen alot of; religion, history, travel, fiction, non-fiction, children, etc. Still don't feel too much better. Had an anxiety attack a couple of times but did not take anything for it.
Mainly just tried to talk myself out of them. Which is not easy to do when the demon co-worker is trying to see if she can play her radio louder than mine and let me tell you, you can barely hear mine. I wear an ear-plug in my right ear, that is the side she is on. Can she not see the neon green THING sticking out of my ear and wonder what the heck it is there for, or maybe she does see it and wants to make my life as miserable as she can from 7:00 a.m. UNTIL 3:30 p.m. which sometimes seems like a 12 hour shift. I wanted to stuff that radio of hers where the sun don't shine and hope that the sun never comes out!
Okay, I am back to normal for right now.
The picture at the top is the chocolate fountain I was referring to yesterday in my blog. Goodness, I can taste it now. The other picture is of Mom (in chocolate-covered cherry heaven for a brief moment!) As you can see from the look on her face why I had such a hard time dragging her away. I mean the other customers in the store wanted to try it too!!!!! I am laughing too hard right now. I'm just kidding mom.
Actually I think we all three went back 2 or 3 times! It was sooooo goooooddddddd.
I came home from work, let Hanzo out and fed him, sit on the couch for about 30 minutes, ate dinner and then played with Hanzo with an old t-shirt for a while, came in, watched about 30 minutes of tv and then came in here and checked e-mails, blogs. Of course, in between times I have been up and down, taking Hanzo out to go to the bathroom, talking to Vincent, folding a load of clothes and now getting ready to rap this up and head to the shower so get ready bed just to start over tomorrow.
Texted Natasha during the day (yes while I was at work and trying not to get caught) about a couple of things that I was not to happy about yesterday at Dakota's party. You know the different lives everyone leads once they "leave the nest". Of course, I succeeded in making her a little irritable at me, Wayne texted me to touch base about this weekend beach trip, texted Mom to ask her about the Carver christmas party and that is about it. What an EXCITING LIFE I LEAD!
Well, guess I had better get off of here,

L8TR!

She Doesn't Slow Down...

Today Natasha and Randy had Dakota's birthday party. I cannot believe that she is now 2 years old. She actually turned 2 on October 11, but today was her party. I spent most of the day chasing her around getting pictures like these because she just would not be still long enough to get pictures. She is on the go all the time. If only I had 1/8 of her energy I would never have to worry about not being able to sleep at night! She and Allyssa both were giving the swing set for their birthdays. They both love to play on it, but Dakota likes the sliding board the best, I think. She was on it more than anything. She occasionally layed in the swing on her stomach but most of the time you would see her on the slide!
You know, just getting the family together is sometimes a little too much, but when you have blended families like we do it makes it a little more too much! Natasha and Nicholas' dad and I have been divorced since 1989. I remarried in 1996 to Vincent. So you have their dad, his parents, my parents, me, Vincent, my sister and her 2 teenage kids, Natasha, Randy (her second husband) and Allyssa (from her first marriage) and Dakota from her current marriage, she is pregnant with their 2nd girl together, Randy's parents, his sister and her husband and their 2 kids, Natasha and Nicholas' dad's teenage daughter from his second marriage and then you have the rest of the invitees; friends, etc. It makes it tough. You have so many different living styles, opinions, ways of doing things that are different from when you were growing up, (like respecting the elders) I know Dakota and Allyssa had a great time, but I am glad that it don't happen very often. Dakota was sitting in front of her Sesame Street birthday cake and took 2-3 swipes with her finger at the icing because it was taking her mom too long to get the candle and after she blew out the candle, she took Elmo licked the icing off of it, put it back on the cake and did it again then looked at me and said "here nana" handing me Elmo! She cracks me up.
Yesterday I met Mom and Alpha at A.C. Moore. I bought some patterned paper, (like I really need it) and some colored cardstock. The store was having some make it take it projects and they had the coolest gadget, a chocolate fountain! I was totalled amazed by it. I know I have seen it advertised but when you see it really working it is the neatest thing. It continually has melted chocolate flowing from it and you just put your piece of fruit, pretzel, cookies, anything that you want chocolate on under the the chocolate and waa-laa you have a chocolate-covered whatever! I will post a picture of it later, but I could have stayed at that table for a while, but I am sure the make-it-take-it would have been about 10 pounds added to my frame that I did not need to have to worry about "carrying out" in my hands! I had to nearly drag my Mom away from it! just kidding, mom!!!!! Alpha actually is to blame for it, she is the one that went looking around without us and come back with chocolate-covered strawberries! We made little brown halloween bags with the new Cricut machine and they had a table that was making little pumpkin earrings. I will post a picture of both tomorrow I will have to take the pictures first.
Deborah and Asheton met us at Taco Casa for lunch. We had a really good time laughing and talking, Alpha said she learned some things that she did not know before from our conversations. Of course, I am not going to repeat any of the conversations because some could be considered at least a PG rating! Then after we ate lunch as if we really needed something else to put in our stomachs we headed to Atlanta Bread Company. ABC is a almost definite stop for whoever is with us on Saturdays. Mom and I started the "tradition". But now if you are with us on Saturday you have to go with us to ABC. Of course, I have pictures of that too that I will have to post later.
Next weekend we are suppose to be going to the beach. From Friday afternoon until Sunday afternoon. If it pans out I cannot wait. I need a day of complete I-dont-have-to-do-anything. I could sit on the beach all day just watching people and the waves coming in and going out. Kinda of relaxing and soothing at the same time.
I got up this morning and took a bike ride. I woke up with it on my mind so I took off. Of course, I woke up yesterday thinking about going for a job (what????? me????? jog???????) I don't know where that came from and of course, I did not give in to that way of thinking. I turned over and went back to sleep! Maybe the next time I wake up with it on my mind I will take it up on it!
Well, gotta get ready for work tomorrow. Vincent went to the store since he slept the rest of his afternoon away and should be pulling back in the driveway at any time and I need to get a shower. The weather is cool at night but it gets kinda warm during the day. We turned off the air conditioning last week and have not turned it back on yet and it does not take much for me to get all hot and sweaty. I hate that.

Baby...it's cold outside...

Well, it is cold to me. It was 61 degrees and breezy when we came in from dinner and to me it was cold. Maybe it was because I have been cold all day at work. But it is suppose to be in the 40's tonight and that is brrrrrrrr to me.

I have not been on here lately as you can tell. I have had things going on, running out of time at night, spending most of the nights with Vincent watching movies, he is a real movie buff and that is about the only time we get to spend together and we don't even have kids in the house anymore! Trying to get this estrogen patch dosage correct, pain in the neck, I tell ya! I feel great the first couple of days and then on the day before or sometimes the day that I am scheduled to change it, I start feeling bad, plain out ole' bad, not wanting to do anything, wanting to strangle the anti-christ co-worker beside me, (more often than not!), just wanting to sit and DO NOTHING, NOT A THING! Have you realized that the word nothing looks almost like NOT A THING. Oh well, I am getting off on another trail......

We have been going to the lake every Sunday (no haven't been to church and I know that is bad) for the past 4 weeks. Breaking in motors on 2 jetskis Vincent had to replace for the same customer. It has been really nice at the lake though, no rain any day that we were there. My brother Wayne and his wife and daughters went 2 weeks ago with us and Natasha, Randy, Allyssa and Dakota went this past Sunday with us. We had a great time. It gets boring sometimes going by yourself.

The pictures are from this past Sunday's trip. Allyssa always has a good time at the lake, she LOVES the water and from the looks of Dakota, the one where she is asleep, she does too. This picture of Dakota was taken after her first ride on a sea-doo. She loved it until the humming of the motor and watching the water go by put her to sleep. Yes she actually went to sleep while I was operating the sea-doo. She and I were on one, Vincent and Allyssa were on ours and Randy and Natasha was on one.

Today the little monkey turned 2 years old. And she is really in the terrible twos! "No" to everything. Ignoring you when you are talking to her, throwing toys, running from you, you name it and she is doing it! But she is a baby doll!

Tomorrow is my sister-in-law Tina's birthday. We are going out to eat somewhere actually to finalize the beach trip for next weekend and to celebrate her birthday in a quiet sort of way! She has never been one to like the hoop-la of birthdays, she don't like her picture taken and she don't like attention drawn to her. Kinda like me in a way!

Anyway, it is 10:52 pm WAY, WAY past my bedtime so off to sleeptown I go.......Sweet dreams!

Update on Jennifer...

We went to see Jennifer last night. She was sitting up a little bit and actually had her voice back. She still have the feeding tube which they were taking out today and the temporary pacemaker on her leg which was turned off. The report right now is that she may be going home with a permanent pacemaker more as a precaution. She is doing really good and as soon as they take the pacemaker off her leg will be up and starting to walk in about 6-8 hours. They are saying that there were 2 medications that she was taking that reacted to other medications that she was on. She is still in CCU right now.

I am picking up Allyssa and Dakota tomorrow for the afternoon. It has been a couple of weeks since we have had them. Nick's girlfriend, Ashley, babysits them now so I am not getting them as often. That is good for me because it was too much to watch them both nearly every afternoon, but on the other hand I miss them so much. I don't feel like I am in touch with Allyssa and her school work and Dakota and her little musings that I usually get to see.

Mom and Dad are off to the beach tomorrow. Yes I am very jealous! I have not been able to go to the beach this year and I miss it. But Mom needs to get away and relax for a while.

Natasha is progressing along with her pregnancy. She is out of work the rest of the week per doctor's orders.

Nick is doing the usual working thing like the rest of us. I had a couple of days break from demon child co-worker. She came back today.

Well, guess I had better go and get ready for another day of work!

Spur of the Moment changes....

The past couple of days has been all about spur of the moment changes. Since Monday morning when we, (as in Mom, Dad and all of us siblings and spouses and children, except Mitchell and his family, of course) have found out about Brittni being in the hospital and then Jennifer collapsing while staying with Brittni, we have been all about living in the moment. We have lived this week nearly around Brittni and Jennifer. The very people that Mitchell has kept in the dark about so much the past couple of years have been the ones there for him and his family now. A lot of it is Mitchell's fault, heck 99% of it is his fault. We all have tried in the past to keep in touch with him and his family, but either the phone calls going unanswered or not acknowledged or the fact that he did not want us to know much about what was going on in his family life. He has probably lived most of his life based on lie after lie that he nearly a professional at it. Why are so many people like that? I know on his part he has lived a life that was pretty much different from the rest of us. But in the end when all your friends are gone who is there to pick you up? Family. I remember telling Mitchell many years ago that his family were the ones that would always be there. Even after he has done the things that he has done to all of us, acting like he did not need us, betraying our trust, we are there for him. I know on my part it is going to take some time for me to trust him. It is to the point with us that we need some proof and not just words. We have heard them too many times. Even after all of that, it is Jennifer, Brittni and Chandler that I most want to protect. What have they had to live in on a daily basis with Mitchell? We have only seen what he allows us to see, but to have to live with it on a day-to-day basis, I cannot imagine. None of us have been perfect in our adult lives, we have all done things that we wish we could re-do, prevent from happening, and keep secret, but in the end it comes out for the whole world to see. I cannot even imagine how Jennifer has felt the past 2 years, going through the death and grieving of her mother. I thank God everyday for my Mom and that I have had her through the good and the bad of my life. We have had our differences but we still crave each other's attention and love. What would I do if I was in Jennifer's place? She has been stuck in a cesspool of memories for 2 years, living in the same house with the same furnishings. She has been worrying about everybody else but her own health which has not been very good. Depression is a very bad problem, mood swings, sadness, loneliness. I know from experience. I have not been there for her and I feel bad for it knowing what depression can do to a person. I plan to do better from now on. We have to put our past feelings in the past. Which is easier said than done. We, as Christians, are to forgive, maybe not ever forget, but forgive. Without God's help that is impossible to do. As I get older I realize just how much hurt, meanness, loneliness, and sadness is in the world. How many people do we past everyday that have problems worse than ours. That don't make our problems is less important, but there are others far worse. We have a roof over our head, family to help us through the tough times, decent clothes to wear, we don't worry about where our next meal is coming from and we have a little money to do things that we like. We drive vehicles that are running good, we have our health, our jobs, our children and grandchildren. Now for the update on Jennifer. The breathing tube was taken out tonight about 6:00 p.m. She was a little apprehensive about it. The temporary pacemaker was turned off and will be removed tomorrow. She is talking in a whisper, able to move her legs, arms, head. There does not appear to be any damage to anything right now. They said that after they take the pacemaker off they plan to have her up and walking in about 6 hours! So as it looks now, she is on the road to recovery in a big way. Thank you Lord for answered prayers and they continue to be answered daily. I wonder if she will be able to remember the whole incident? Right now I guess her mind of blocking some of the trauma. Can she remember us being in the room and talking? Could she hear us even though she was sedated? What was she thinking if she was able to be thinking while she was sedated? Does she remember getting agitated when the sedation would wear off? I have so many questions I want to ask her but I know it might be awhile before I can do that. She does not remember Brittni being in the hospital, she did not know she was at Greenville Memorial Hospital, I don't think she knows what happen. I feel that as time goes on her memory will come back. Brittni is still doing good, I don't think she has had any further vomiting or stomach pain. She goes back to school on Monday, but she also has a doctor's appointment. Chandler went back to school on Friday. Well, it is 11:26 pm and way, way past my bedtime. So off to bed I go..........

Answered prayers.....

I had such a good day today. My demon child co-worker was not at work, woo-hoo. Don't they realize how quiet and smooth everything is when she is not there??????? We went to the hospital tonight to visit Jennifer. I am so ecstatic. She was awake and could understand what we were saying to her. She could make facial expressions when she was asked questions and she could nod her head yes or no. We got her to smile. Many prayers have been answered and continue to be answered. They had her pacemaker on her leg turned down and tomorrow they plan on turning it off to see if she can handle it. They have taken her off her medication to help her heart and she is doing fine. She stayed awake all day today. She would not go to sleep, I guess because she felt she had been out of it for so long she was afraid if she went to sleep she would be out of it again. Right before we left the nurse gave her some morphine for pain and to help her relax and get some rest. I was so happy to see her awake. Thank you Lord. The doctors are say now that it was the medication she was on but they are not sure yet exactly which one it was or if some of the medication reacted to the medicine she was already taking. She is on a blood thinner to make sure she does not get clots in her legs. She is able to move her left leg but not her right leg because the pacemaker is attached to her right leg. She seems to be uncomfortable because she cannot really move around to get a good spot. She was moving her left arm and wrinkling her forehead and I asked her if her arm was bothering her or need to be lifted up. She nodded to me when I asked her about lifting it up so I tried to make her a little more comfortable. She still has a little ways to go but is doing great right now. Brittni is doing fine. She was tired when we seen her in the CCU waiting area. This was her first day out of the hospital so I am sure she has been up all day. The doctors said she suffers from Abdominal migraines. No I have never heard of it either, but apparently a migraine is pain in the nerves. Just like a migraine head ache, these are migraine stomach aches. New one on me. Mom and I are going to do our normal Saturday thing tomorrow. I think we will go to AC Moore tomorrow then have lunch. Then tomorrow afternoon it is back to the lake for the rest of the weekend. I ready for this boat to be broken in so we can actually relax. When you are breaking in a new motor on a jet-ski you have to go no more than 35 miles a hour, which is slow then you move on up the speedometer until you get to the number of "break-in" hours that need to be put on the boat. Of course, all of this was greek to me until I got involved in it with this boat. Well, guess I will get off of here and hit the hay! I am tired.

No change.....

There has been no change in Jennifer today other than Brittni, Chandler and Mitchell were able to talk to her and she was a little less sedated and could nod to them. Then she was sedated again to keep her from becoming agitated. We did not go to the hospital today. I was totally exhausted and had to get some things done around the house. Brittni was discharged today and is with a friend from school and Chandler is with Mom. Mitchell and Jennifer's brother are switching off staying in the room with Jennifer just so there is someone there, just in case she might come to and not see anyone she knows. The doctors said it could take up to 60 hours from the time she collapsed before all the medication she was on is out of her system. That is about 4 and 1/2 days! I think they seem to think that when that gets out of her system she should be on the full road to recovery. Since they cannot find anything else wrong with her it seems it might have been the medication that she was prescribed recently that did all of this.

Vincent and I met Wayne, Tina, Courtney and Lauren at Mythos Greek Restaurant in Greer for dinner tonight. Actually it was a spur of the moment kinda thing. Wayne called to see if we were going to the hospital because he did not know if he was going to make it tonight. I told him that we were not going to night and then I asked them if they had eaten yet and he said no. So we decided to meet there. We had a good time.

Things at work at the same. I think it was yesterday or the day before. I was just standing there working and MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS and something came on radio of the "demon" beside me. Those of you who have kept up with my notorious co-worker know what I am talking about. She said (and keep in mind it is just me and her standing there) out loud, "Thank you Lord, I got the devil right beside me". Now since it was only me and her standing there, who do you think she was talking about?????????????????????????? Yep, that is right ME. Of course, want I should have said was agree with her and say "yes Lord, I got the devil right beside me too". But I didn't because if I had said something she would have just said that she was talking to herself. Which probably is correct since she is schizofrinic anyway. So today I started wearing an earplug in my right ear so I don't have to hear her talking about that devil standing beside her. I hope he does not try to start talking to me!!!!!! Maybe I should go in to work tomorrow with devil horns on my head!!!!!!!!!!! I am LOL right now. She has really lost some of the marbles in her collection!
I decided that I was not going to let her ruin my day so I have gotten to the point of just taking it all in stride and laughing inside at her stupity or craziness, which one I am not sure of!
Well, guess I had better go and get in bed a "little earlier" tonight!