Spur of the Moment changes....

The past couple of days has been all about spur of the moment changes. Since Monday morning when we, (as in Mom, Dad and all of us siblings and spouses and children, except Mitchell and his family, of course) have found out about Brittni being in the hospital and then Jennifer collapsing while staying with Brittni, we have been all about living in the moment. We have lived this week nearly around Brittni and Jennifer. The very people that Mitchell has kept in the dark about so much the past couple of years have been the ones there for him and his family now. A lot of it is Mitchell's fault, heck 99% of it is his fault. We all have tried in the past to keep in touch with him and his family, but either the phone calls going unanswered or not acknowledged or the fact that he did not want us to know much about what was going on in his family life. He has probably lived most of his life based on lie after lie that he nearly a professional at it. Why are so many people like that? I know on his part he has lived a life that was pretty much different from the rest of us. But in the end when all your friends are gone who is there to pick you up? Family. I remember telling Mitchell many years ago that his family were the ones that would always be there. Even after he has done the things that he has done to all of us, acting like he did not need us, betraying our trust, we are there for him. I know on my part it is going to take some time for me to trust him. It is to the point with us that we need some proof and not just words. We have heard them too many times. Even after all of that, it is Jennifer, Brittni and Chandler that I most want to protect. What have they had to live in on a daily basis with Mitchell? We have only seen what he allows us to see, but to have to live with it on a day-to-day basis, I cannot imagine. None of us have been perfect in our adult lives, we have all done things that we wish we could re-do, prevent from happening, and keep secret, but in the end it comes out for the whole world to see. I cannot even imagine how Jennifer has felt the past 2 years, going through the death and grieving of her mother. I thank God everyday for my Mom and that I have had her through the good and the bad of my life. We have had our differences but we still crave each other's attention and love. What would I do if I was in Jennifer's place? She has been stuck in a cesspool of memories for 2 years, living in the same house with the same furnishings. She has been worrying about everybody else but her own health which has not been very good. Depression is a very bad problem, mood swings, sadness, loneliness. I know from experience. I have not been there for her and I feel bad for it knowing what depression can do to a person. I plan to do better from now on. We have to put our past feelings in the past. Which is easier said than done. We, as Christians, are to forgive, maybe not ever forget, but forgive. Without God's help that is impossible to do. As I get older I realize just how much hurt, meanness, loneliness, and sadness is in the world. How many people do we past everyday that have problems worse than ours. That don't make our problems is less important, but there are others far worse. We have a roof over our head, family to help us through the tough times, decent clothes to wear, we don't worry about where our next meal is coming from and we have a little money to do things that we like. We drive vehicles that are running good, we have our health, our jobs, our children and grandchildren. Now for the update on Jennifer. The breathing tube was taken out tonight about 6:00 p.m. She was a little apprehensive about it. The temporary pacemaker was turned off and will be removed tomorrow. She is talking in a whisper, able to move her legs, arms, head. There does not appear to be any damage to anything right now. They said that after they take the pacemaker off they plan to have her up and walking in about 6 hours! So as it looks now, she is on the road to recovery in a big way. Thank you Lord for answered prayers and they continue to be answered daily. I wonder if she will be able to remember the whole incident? Right now I guess her mind of blocking some of the trauma. Can she remember us being in the room and talking? Could she hear us even though she was sedated? What was she thinking if she was able to be thinking while she was sedated? Does she remember getting agitated when the sedation would wear off? I have so many questions I want to ask her but I know it might be awhile before I can do that. She does not remember Brittni being in the hospital, she did not know she was at Greenville Memorial Hospital, I don't think she knows what happen. I feel that as time goes on her memory will come back. Brittni is still doing good, I don't think she has had any further vomiting or stomach pain. She goes back to school on Monday, but she also has a doctor's appointment. Chandler went back to school on Friday. Well, it is 11:26 pm and way, way past my bedtime. So off to bed I go..........