Answers............

Well, I went to the hospital to get some answers.............Jennifer was taken down for a CT scan today, I think they said she had a chest x-ray and tomorrow she is scheduled for an ultrasound to check to make sure she does not have any blood clots. The nurse that came on duty at 7:00 pm was very helpful when we asked questions. I stayed in their with Jennifer while he checked all her vital signs and she was doing good. She did have a temperature of 101 under the arm and he was going to order some tylenol for her. They had increased her sedation with is Propofol, I think, when they took her down for the scan. The nurse decreased it and said that they were going to keep decreasing it to try and wean her off of it. She was breathing some on her own but was still on the respirator. The respiratory therapist came in also and checked her vitals, cleaned the tube, etc. and everything looked good. Another medication she is on is Heparin, not sure about that one, Lidocane, not sure if that is related to the Heparin and she was also given some Morphine today.

The mothering instinct in me wants to just lift her to me and hold her and tell her everything is going to be ok, but I know that I cannot do that. Sometimes I feel so "fake". I know how I have felt in the past with everything that has gone on with Mitchell and Jennifer and I know that I have not been the Christian that I should be. I should have forgave Mitchell for some things he did. Stealing from his own family for his drug addiction, but I did not. There is alot of trust that needs to be made up by him. He has said so many times that he had changed and it never happened. You still have the thoughts that "is he telling us another one or is he for real this time". Jennifer has been through a lot with him and her family. Her mother dying 2 years ago has not been easy for her either.

He says that when Jennifer gets better and Brittni gets better that there are going to be some changes. I told him that it is not going to be a easy road, its going to be hard, it is not going to come to him. They have never really been a family and it is going to take some time to build that up for them.

He just looks at her and then he says "isn't she beautiful, she's my baby". I asked him, "has it taken this to happen for you to see that?" and he told me "no, I have known it all along. She is still as beautiful to me today as she was 21 years ago". I said have you told her that and he said "yes and I tell her I love her and she always says no you don't". And he just chuckled to himself. We were looking at the monitor and watching her blood pressure cuff expanding and it read her bp. He asked me if her bp was good and what is is normally. I told him 120/80. hers was 167/63. I said I am on blood pressure medication and he said I am supposed to be on it, but I don't take it. I have it with me but I just don't take it. I turned to him and said, "do you want to end of like Jennifer" and we looked at her and he said no. And I said then you better start taking care of yourself.

Brittni is doing fine. She is going to be discharged probably Friday. She was working on a little scrapbook for her mom when we left.

We will be going back tomorrow so I will have an update then.................